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[06 Jan 2007|02:30pm] |
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iddoanythingforyouback
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[23 Dec 2006|06:17pm] |
it's christmas eve, eve, and i'm more depressed than ever.
i need my dad. holidays truly aren't the same with out you angel.
i can't evne imagine what my birthday is going to feel like
i love you daddy, i miss you so much
and you're on my mind and in my heart
please come spend christmas with me daddy...
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[07 Dec 2006|05:40pm] |
i might be dramatic
but either way i have to get this out of my head
i'm tired, i'm really fucking tired of everything
and everyone. i'm tired of being USED. yes
over and over again. i get used for everything i give.
weather it be material items, or just emotional support.
i help everyone, and get nothing in return. truly it's not
that big of a deal but it's really starting to take
a fuckking toll on my fucking heart. watching all of you
walk all over me.
if you're so fucking caring, why the hell are you lettig me
wear myself down so fucking badly.
i can't stand any of you anymore.
my own fuckikng boyfriend is starting to
bother me. i love him to pieces but seriously
i can't take this anymore.
it makes me so bitchy.
i'm such an angry fucking person
what the fuck.
FUCK YOU.
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[05 Dec 2006|07:23pm] |
mine and jacob's one year was two days ago
it was a good day i guess.
i miss my father.
i just want him back.
i have no friends.
but i guess it's okay
you're all fake anyway
and the friends i attempt to keep
always fuck me over.
maybe i'm at fault
i'm just really tired of not having a bfff i guess.
whatever. nothing to hate life over. peace
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[27 Nov 2006|08:36pm] |
i have a secret.
and i want to tell it
and i want to get it fixed
but i have no one to tell and
i don't think i can handle getting it fixed
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[25 Nov 2006|02:56am] |
oh my god, jen and melissa
i love you two so much
making fun of her tonight
was incredibe. i was laughing so
fucking hard.
ughh lifee is getting gooooddd
i'm greatful for my friends.
and i'm greatful for ugly whores
like you to make fun of
hahahaha<3333
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[24 Nov 2006|05:29pm] |
i keep doing the same things over and over again.
the same mistakes. i even use the same excuses
and the same fucking promises.
yesterday was thanksgiving,
and it hurt a lot more then
i thought it would. christmas
won't be so hard though, daddy
liked thanksgiving a lot more.
p.s;; i have a strong feeling jacob doesn't love me the same anymore
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[18 Nov 2006|10:04pm] |
seriously, fuck you.
i'm not happy anymore.
i'm tired i'm anxious
i'm bored. and i'm fed up.
ugh
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[16 Nov 2006|04:41pm] |
fuck youuuuuu bitch :D!
jealous girls are always the ones who insult you most
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[14 Nov 2006|05:14pm] |
things have been so good. i finally have things to look foward to;;
Today. probably getting a bunny. if not I AM SOON<3!
Tomorrow. SEEING SM<3 because i love her to pieces. americas next top model and getting my nails done ;*
Thursday. i don't know. BUT WHO CARES
Friday. maybee sleep over with jen and nichole if we can finally make that plan happen?!!
Friday/saturday/sunday. JILLIAN!?!?!?!?!!?!
A week or two from now. florida with jillybean<3333
i love my life
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[14 Nov 2006|04:19pm] |
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i know your myspace password.
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[13 Nov 2006|01:28pm] |
well first i'd like to say, getting help was the best choice.
but the friends i chose before i left, really weren't all that great.
seeing as i come home, and the majority of them hated me/fucked me over
or completely flipped on me for reasons i didn't get the chance
to find out.
when i got home, jacob walked up two
seconds later, it was the best
kiss we've ever had.
then we kissed more in my room.:D
but really you're all fucking fake
i don't know who to trust anymore.
i don't know who talks shit about me anymore
seriously, don't be my friend if you're just going to talk
i don't need someone making my life harder.
ps; i'm not CRAZY, you can continue calling me that
but it doesn't hurt my feelings, nor affect me.
because i know i'm not CRAZY.
yeah i can be the biggest bitch
and come off like i could kill
someone. but that's because i'm
always defending either myself
or my friends. yeah i'll fuck
someone up for my friends.
and yeah i was depressed
and i looked for further help
because i was tired of it.
so if that's what YOU concider
crazy. go look it up in the dictionary
and compare it to me.
and i garantee none of you will ever get the chance to know me
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[07 Nov 2006|08:52pm] |
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the fact that i see negitive in everything has really ruined stuff..fuck :/
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[06 Nov 2006|09:57pm] |
i'm going out with mike reis and everyone
tonight, and it's going to be real nice.
i miss him so much.
i've had a nice day of alone time. other
then the two hours of history. but i really
am happier alone sometimes i like watching
movies and sleeping with out having to
constantly impress someone
;;nichole and jen, sleep over friday night? and maybeee melissa turso, but you're always busy :*;;
because i really need a girls night and you're the best girls i know
{jillian you're afraid of my house so i asume you wouldn't want to come}
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[05 Nov 2006|07:50pm] |
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V
AND JILL
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[05 Nov 2006|06:29pm] |
i love being re-exposed
to the people i missed most.
it brings back so many memories
both good and bad, and i'm happyyy
awz. all of you commmenting me
jen, nichole, anj, melissaturso, dilan.
i love you all, and yes you're real
friends and i'm so glad i have you.
it's nice to know someones paying attention to my feelings.<3
p.s;; i'm currently happy
someone help me make it stay
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| i realize now. |
[04 Nov 2006|05:44am] |
don't read this unless we're REALLY friends, because i'm so done with the rest of you
i realize now who truly cares
and who pretends to just to hear my drama.
my friends. are. perfect.
i love you all
thankyou for always being there for me
through the smallest things to the biggest...
thanks for actually paying attention when i need you
{i'll always be here when you need me too}
and i guess i'm really not so afraid of being alive anymore.
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[03 Nov 2006|09:43pm] |
happy 11 months baby boy, i love you, i love this. i love what we have.
never leave me baby boyy, you're my strength and my will. and i completely cherish and admire you
{DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO FUCKING JUDGE}
too bad nothing else is going right.
infact i want to go away. but i know jacob
couldn't be with out me. not because i;m
so great. but because he'd miss me
and eventually move on while i'm gone.
dont fucking tell me i'm fine
because NO ONE knows what i'm feeling.
no one but melissa, who i trust and cherish
and i often feel helpless. theres times
i'm so happy, i dont think twice about dying
and then i can get so low, i want to die right then
and it's really awfully annoying. especially whjen so
mcuh has been going right.....it's like. i'm permanatly
broken or something. but i love me, most times. i like
the person i was becoming, so i'm not even sure wghat's wrong.
that's whjat makes me feel so helpless. theres such
a negative feeling in me, like even when i'm happy
i feel i deserve to be sad.....i can't even explain it.
all i know is that, theres something wrong with me
that makes me automatiaclly sad, if something fucking
perfect isn't happening at that second.
hahaha none of you care anyway.
the only actual responces i get
are from "MY FRIENDS" telling me;; i'm too dramatic.
too ridiculous. too ungreatful. DON'T
FUCKING
TELL ME
WHAT I AM.
tell me what i'm not for once.
thanks a whyole bunch
Melissa turso, i love
you angel. we can make it together i promise
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[02 Nov 2006|12:34am] |
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how, stupid.
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[01 Nov 2006|04:56am] |
i'm inlove, i couldn't be happier.
i love you jacob duecker, thankyou for
being the best thing in my life.
i need you forever baby boyy~*~
;)smunchayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
and you're a disgusting piece of shit.
really, i hope you drop dead.
i've nver HATED someone,
it's actually a pleasing feeling : )<3
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